International Women’s Day : March 8

My name is Kiran Gurung. Although I am only 18 years old, I am already married.
 
I
do not want to remember what my father did to my mother. When he was
drunk, he beat her and did so many violent things to her. Whenever I
remember this, it gives me pain. After my father’s death, her health
deteriorated. She wanted to see a daughter-in-law and grandchildren
before she died, so she forced to me into this marriage. I was unable to
reject her wish, so I got married at 16.

I used to think that
all the housework is the responsibility of women. Men are the pillars of
the house, who work outside and earn money. So I usually went out and
had fun. I spent my time more with my friends than with my wife.

When
adolescent groups were formed in my community by UMN’s partner
Siddhartha Samudyiek Samaj in 2013, I became a member of the Karma Danda
adolescent group. It was very difficult for us to have group meetings,
because most of us are adolescents and want to have fun and enjoy life,
rather than sitting in a meeting. But I became the group secretary, so I
got more involved. We started to meet every week for discussion about
gender-related issues, domestic violence, the roles of men and women,
and other community issues. This helped to change my stereotypical
thinking regarding women.

I realised that I would have to change
my behaviour towards my family. If I didn’t do that, what is the
difference between me and my father? I started to support my wife in her
difficult work. I promised her that I will not do anything harmful to
her, like my father did to my mother. My promise made her happy, and our
relationship has become stronger.

Now my wife is the only supporting hand in my life.

Story collected by Tul Kumari Rana
Project Co-ordinator, Siddhartha Samudyiek Samaj